Night Bookers Book Club Discussion of Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See

The group had an interesting discussion about the book. Some people enjoyed the story of two women friends in nineteenth century China. One woman commented that she and her friend had a misunderstanding like Snow Flower and Lily, and did not talk for several years. However, they reconciled. Snow Flower and Lily do not, even though Lily does go to care for Snow Flower when Snow Flower is dying. Others found some aspects of the culture disturbing, such as the mothers subjecting their daughters to the severe pain of foot binding. Also, some found disturbing Snow Flower's husband beating her. People found it interesting that the highest position a woman could have was to become the oldest mother of sons in a household. People wondered why Snow Flower's daughter committed suicide the day after she got married. Some thought she saw her mother being beaten by her mother, and she saw her mother rejected by her best friend. People spent a lot of time talking about Lily. They talked about Lily's relationship with her mother. The mother showed no emotion to Lily, so Lily assumed her mother didn't love her. So, instead she turned to Snow Flower. However, because she was starved for her mother's love, it made it easy misread the fan and to think Snow Flower had betrayed her with other sworn sisters (Snow Flower hadn't). Others thought Lily was just selfish. Others thought Lily changed when she found out Snow Flower lied about her family background. Others thought Lily cared to much for rules an appearances and not enough about Snow Flower's feelings. Despite these conflicts and the suffering, the women do persevere in the book. The secret writing of the women, nu shu, was interesting. People talked about the character Madame Wang, the matchmaker. Although she was a widow woman, she had power, position, money, and freedom. She was a wheeler and dealer. She brought Lily and Snow Flower together to have a laotong relationship, a relationship closer than a man and wife. One of the members is an antique dealer and she brought in shoes the girls probably wore on their bound feet. Overall, a lively discussion.